3 finals down, 2 to go! One paper and one actual exam. *sigh* I'd rather have 2 exams, to be frank. Oh and I have to finish my costuming projects. Oops. I'm close to being done with them. Just have to finish slipstiching the sideband fabric on my hat and doing the collar/redoing the back pleat/center seam on the shirt. Yeah.

I'm leaving on Friday at some point. Man. I hope I get all my shit done. I need to study for my science exam. It's at 8 in the morning in Memorial. My life sucks. XD I'm really behind because I stopped going to class for about a week and a half, which means I missed a LOT. I don't even have the motivation to reveiw well. Eurgh.I think I'll come back later tonight and study more.

work work work work work. I want to dye my hair but I dont know what I want to dye it! 8O

haha

So I'm using the computer in Wilson to write a blog at 12:44 in the morning. I'm so cool.

I spent the last three hours in the music building singing, violining, and butchering the piano. It was rather awesome. I found my high A again, which is a start. It's definitely more difficult than it used to be, but it's there. I scrounged a few skittles out of the trash too. Yummeh.

Vending machine hot chocolate is surprisingly good.

I told my history teacher I'm going to become a nun one day. I'm curious what it'll be like. XD

I've been reading a lot lately. Since Sunday I've read Wicked, Son of A Witch, The Time Machine, and something else. I can't remember the name of it. Hehe. I picked up some random fantasy novel today. *sigh* I do and don't want this semester to end. More on that wangstyness later. Now I'm finishing the trek back to the ISAT side of campus!

PS - Barnes and Noble checkout man was attractive. And he had an accent. TEEHEEHEE.

"A Collection of old music from a skeevy guy who has the distinct pleasure to hang out with the coolest person ever!"

Aaron finally finished my CD! That is the title of it up there, if you couldn't tell.

So much has happened in the last 6 days. Here's a brief summary.
Speech/essay was fine
I need to quit this habit of spending the nights with sketch older dudes I barely know.
I need to sleep more at night and less during the day
library library library
class selection! 17 credits! Taking German AND Greek
home and easter = yaaay! Sleeeep. Rum cookies. Handel. Oh yes.
Watching Tanz with Jessica! <3

That's about it? I worked tonight, and made some moneys! The cook is very interesting and I enjoyed listening to him. Hrm hrm hrm. Walking in the cold rain is an interesting experience. It's not terrible, but it's not enjoyable...well sometimes it is, but yeah.

And thus...

The night begins. Tonight will be intense. I have a paper to write on Rome and I need to practice my speech. A lot. I figure if I can get half of the paper written now, I can finish it tomorrow after Gcomm is over if I skip science. I'll do that, unless I get rolling on the paper. If I can finish it tonight before 2, I will. If not, I'll do what I can. I already have an outline which is more than I normally have at this point in time. Usually the outline gets formuated between midnight and three.

Last night was awesome. I had work from 8:30 to about 11:30, and made 26 dollars! Yeah. Last night the owner of the restuarant called and said he needed a server for the night. I only really had one table, but that was more than enough considering I had NO time for training or anything. Yay for jumping in with both feet! I'm such an industrious little worker (I was sweeping and washing dishes as well, which is apparently not part of the job description) that at the end of the night I was told that I could have a permanent job there if I wanted! They also had surplus tomatoes, so I took some to give to Aaron since he's a good cook and stuff.

I texted him asking him if he wanted them, and he did so I walked to his apartment to drop them off. He invited me in for tea, which I managed to make last until about 1 in the morning. XDDD I was really giddy and happy for some odd reason, and he remarked that I was extra cute. ^-^ We were just talking and laughing and the dynamic between us was way different from usual. But it was a good different! The only stain on the time was when I asked about his shirt. The design on it was drawn by the ex. I was not a happy muffin. But the moment passed and all was well again! I left a bit after one, and pranced over to the library to get some work done. AND I DID! I outlined my essay! On my way back I made up a song about tomatoes. It was amazing. I finally slept around 3. XD

In 15 minutes, I wrote the introduction for this paper. I'm a BAMF.

Things I love:
the song "Ghost Love Score;" walking around campus at 3 in the morning; those days when I wake up and feel like a million bucks; seeing ferrets; playing with dogs; having inspiration for papers; dancing in my chair at the library; dancing across campus; being productive; baking (especially with other people); cooking with my father; making music with friends and family; knowing the songs on the radio; my violin; the memories associated with boots; meeting people; sharing fun things with people; teaching violin; performing in an ensemble; that awesome after performance feeling; the memorial day service; knowing I had an impact on someone's life; German; feeling alive; sore muscles; being HAPPY instead of angry; smiling at random people; when people hold doors open for other people; good costumes in movies; making things; being crafty... This list could go on and on!

Wedge: A simple Tool.

Once again waiting for group members to send me their shit. Come on guys, we're meeting in an hour and a half and everything is supposed to be done. I can't finish the annotated bibliography if you haven't sent me your information. I'm not going to go read all of your sources and do it for you. I'm just the format kid. That's how these things work. Oy vey.

I climbed last night for the first time in three weeks and it felt awesome. I'm going to resume my climbing schedule after this weekend I think. Once shit calms down. Yeah. Hahaha. But that was fun! Apparently Scott had been climbing...?

Anyway, Aaron burned me some Tool and gave me those CDs today. I'm quite happy about that, since I reallly liked Tool when I listened to them. He also gave me the headphones that came with his iPod (which he got last night. I was witness! =D) because he already has a nice pair. I feel loveded. But I mustn't get carried away with myself.

This summer is going to be bizarre. If I'm at KD, I'll be in an apartment. I won't be at the good old WTF, I won't be near anyone I know. If I end up having to pull out of the KD contract (because I have nowhere to live yet... problem? I think so), I'll be at home at WT, but I won't be seeing my JMU friends hardly at all. I might spend a week with Aaron, but considering we basically eat at least one meal a day together here except on some weekends, it's going to be REALLY strange. There will be no random song fests with Jessica or pizza and movies with Charlotte. Even though I live sort of near Charlotte and Emily, I won't be seeing them because that's just not how we work. They will hang out but they won't remember me. They rarely do, XD. Ok this is getting wangsty. Must be the music I'm listening to. Aaaah I ended a sentence with a preposition.

My arms are sore! <3 I also have no idea what I'm doing with my life, which is a problem since I need to start figuring out my schedule for next semester. Hard to do when you don't have a clue. I rhymed! I really want to take German and Greek. I have to take a lab science at some point, but German is a 4 credit class (language lab requirement) so I really don't want to pile a lab science on top of that. I might have to, though, which will suck.

Amazing how long you can ramble on when you are stuck, isn't it?

Control of Atmospheric CO2 by tectonic uplift and subsequent chemical weathering of mountains

... yeah. That's what I learned about in Climate science today. Huzzah! It was rather boring, but at least I went! I've become so much better about actually going to that class, which is why I'm actually slightly optimistic about the outcome of the test we took on Friday.

Gcomm speech THIS Friday is completely kirking me out though. That and the history paper on Rome. I like Rome and all, because it makes me think of Latin, but I was absent on the days we took notes on Rome and so I'm waiting for someone who's waiting for someone to get her the notes and blah blah blah. Plus, the library is only open until two in the morning so I can't write until 4 or 5 am the day it's due like I normally do. *sigh* This is a dangerous game I'm playing.

IN other news, I had a series of rather frightening dreams last night/this morning when I took my nap. It was distressing. What is also distressing is the fact that I'm in the computer lab and the man next to me is super sketch and 42 and checking his personals and writing slightly inappropriate emails.
Yes I am a nosey bastard.

Also this morning, [huge geekout ahead] I decided to Elf it up, but as I was putting on my Evenstar necklace, the pendant fell off and hit the floor. I had this horrible vision of the movie clip in my mind (when it falls off of Aragorn and shatters) and it was really quite traumatizing. However, when I opened my eyes once again, it was still intact. So a crisis was averted. See, it was a gift. I dislike the boy now, because he's a tool, a deserter, and a liar, but it's still a nice piece of jewelry that had a nice sentiment at the time it was given.

The good news is that I'm going HOME this weekend so I can rest, see Sparkle, and just detox from all the JMU crap that's been going on. Hopefully there will be muffins made. With Aaron R. WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME. Oh ho ho. Also! It's Easter so there will be pretty musics, but no strings, which is tragic for me because I won't be seeing my favorite violinist. But I get to see Tiffany and Aunt Gail and Uncle Bob so that is cause for rejoicing.

One of my high school seniors is coming to JMU for a last tour thing on Wednesday so I'm going to have lunch with her and tell her alllll the great stories about JMU. I think I should leave out the parts related to Squire Hill... Bahahaha. I think this will be fun.

...man, I'm hungry. But I have to wait another hour before I can go get food. Mmm bread. And hummus. OM nom nom nom....... er...

I hate having to sit here and twiddle my thumbs because I'm still waiting for my group to send me their crap. We had to re-do the annotated bibliography in a different format to appease the prof, so I'm stuck waiting for everyone to RE-send me their crap. And I know one person definitely won't. I don't understand the word "won't." If it's supposed to be a contraction of "will not," how the hell did the o get in there? It should be wiln't. I also thought amn't was a word when I was in second grade. It should be a word, imho. Am not. Amn't. Yeah.

OH English, what a silly language you are.

I think this post has gone on quite long enough. I should practice my speech. But I won't. THERE IT IS AGAIN. Curse you, "won't!"

Before I go, I will close with the idea that my writing is really quite deplorable and if I had any skill at all, I would be able to make my words emphatic enough without the aid of unnecessary capitalization. Yes. Quite. Lovely.

Nothing? Nothing, tra la la?

Today was...strange.



I spent the night with Aaron, thoroughly enjoying myself... we still haven't gotten around to actually watching The Red Violin, but nevertheless it was a good time. I left his place around 11:30, took a shower, and went to the library until about 3. I like the library.

Then ADVENTURE TIME! I was decked out in spiffyness and feeling awesome so I had to go ponce around Harrisonburg. I traipsed about for a few hours, sitting in various cafes and not ordering anything because I'm poor. I wandered into a slightly sketchy area and was entirely freaked out when a scary man started to follow me. I lost him by calling my brother and walking into the health and safety building. I pet a boxer and wandered some more!

I found this little cafe place called Franklin's and it made me really happy. I told the owner I had no money, but he said I could sit and chillax as long as I wanted. The newspaper was there doing a feature on the place and the photojournalist was taking pictures of me. Since I was kind of doing an advertising thing for them, the owner gave me a free sandwich! It was delicioussss. I left my name and number in case they need a waitress anytime in the next month. When you're poor, it's good to be cute. ^-^ AND MODEST.

While walking back to campus, I ran into William Alexander so we walked back together. It was not unpleasant. Jessica and I sat out on the quad for a while and there was a ferret! We got to hold her and she was so wriggley and cute and fuzzy and I'm dying to own a ferret now. D-hall was amusing, and ice cream is delicous! Jessica and I walked t0 the library, and on the way we found a really cute orange tank top just lying on the ground. I took it home with me and intend to wear it. Once I've washed it, at least. I went back to Jessica's dorm and watched Kung Fu Panda. It was kind of adorable.

THEN back to the library to finish my work. Except my group members suck and haven't emailed me their parts to the annotated bibliography. So I'm stuck here until they do so. Hah, I said so a lot in that sentence. WHeeeee! I like tea.

....and then I found 20 dollars!

Follow me over an unending bridge of song

So much drama, so little time.

Apart from all that, which I am tired of thinking about, there is only a month left in my freshman year of college. Whut. Where on earth did the time go?! I feel no older or wiser than I did when I left high school. Just more bitter and angry, if that's even possible. XD In fact I feel like I've gotten stupider. Although, I will concede to feeling much more independent and self-sufficient.

College has been very different from what I thought it would be. I thought it would be like what Meri and Veet went through. My experience is vastly different. A sad lack of nerds has led to a major shift in personality and a rather frightening loss of self identity. At the same time, I believe that this change will ultimately be for the better. I recognize the fact that I don't know jack shit, now, and that that is ok. I sort of wish I knew what direction my life was going, but now I know about a lot more alternative options for life to take. It had been my intention to live like everyone else eventually, but now I would really rather not have the permanent house or job. I want to wander around and meet people. Travel. LOTS. Oh hell, here I go, waxing wannabe poetic or some shit like that. I do swear a lot more than I used to, if you can believe that.

In other news, I like bagels, they're crunchy. If done correctly. Brunch was a bagel with some butter. Lunch was a sesame seed butter sammich and banana. DELICIOUS. baaagelllsss.

I painted flames on my kick ass boots and they are now even more kick ass than before. THAT is one thing that has changed. I am much less afraid of tearing apart my clothing and redoing it than before. A year ago I would have been too scared to try and paint flames on these boots. I'm glad I did though. I'm thinking about doing that to earn some cash on the side... set up an ebay account of my own, buy boots/clothes from Goodwill and customize them. Apparently there's a big market for that kind of thing. I should learn to embroider, that would be even cooler. If I could put embroidery on this fake leather jacket... Hmmm... I think I will! On the cuffs... it would be really hard to do on real leather, though. I'll look into it.

^-^

So I missed a call from Aaron today but he left a message for me. Basic gist of message:
give some support (on the paper)
"thinking about you all day today, hoping things are going well"
seemed like you were withdrawn/down the other night- that kind of got to me.
keep your chin up
Powershift plans
call me if you want
All I have to say is - Best. Voicemail. Ever. Especially because he never calls people.

I had a very very long chat with Scott tonight. All I have to say is I am the best friend ever. And so modest too.

Now to finish this here paper. *skips off to do it*

The virgin soul thet lived in me is raped by insecurity

So much has happened since the last time I posted. I tried to post on a regular basis, but every time I would start one I would lose interest. It's sad.

I learned much about a friend. Children, don't burn yourself with lye. It's not a pleasant experience. It's not, however, as painful as it appears in Fight Club, as the lye burns the nerve endings off your skin. Still. Don't do it.

I wish I wasn't so plagued by insecurity. Allow me to quote a song that fits my mindframe right now.
It's getting hard to breathe.
Darkness in my head frightens me.
There's a little devil in my mouth
Writing ugly words for you to shout.
The virgin soul thet lived in me
Is raped by insecurity

I need you to sing
Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find

It's getting too crowded here
All alone and playing with my fear
I don't want this anymore
I've tied myself down to the floor
I need you to sing.
Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find

Sing for me
Sing for me my love, sing.

Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find.
That's by Tarja Turunen on her CD My Winter Storm. I'm a big fan, I need to get it back from Charlotte.

Anyway, Reach Out Climb was today. I enjoyed myself, but at the same time I felt very out of place. I felt very out of the loop and slightly ostracized. It was not a happy feeling. However, I enjoyed being awed and humbled by some of the awesome climbers I saw. Jesus I have a long way to go.

I have gotten 8 hours of sleep over the past 2 days. 3 hours on Friday and 5 hours this morning. I was at Aaron's, but nothing happened. I'm frightened about what might be going on. I fear an end to this. I don't know anymore. He burned me an Ani DiFranco CD though, which is spiffy. But I'm exhausted. I hate being insecure and jealous. I need sleep. Auuugh.

On the plus side I made new friends yesterday. They are the sort of people I had hoped to meet in college. People like me! People like Meri and Veet and all of those kids who taught me what college would be like. Except my own experience would be quite different. Maybe more to come later, going to get food.

View from first outlook thing.

I love hiking. For serious. I love walking. It was so fucking difficult in some places, but it was so worth it.

In case you missed the memo, I went hiking yesterday with Shayna, Aaron, and Shayna's friend Mel. We went to this place called Fridley's Gap for a 5 mile hike... the first mile and a half was ridiculous. I'm talking seriously steep shit. I thought my thighs might die, but it was so much fun. There were some great tales from back in the day when Aaron and Shayna were doing local theater and various narcotics. As well as in depth discussions of the deeper meanings behind Mystery Science Theater 3000. We took Zoe with us, and she was a spazz and had way too much energy. At the top of the mountain, there was this awesome overlook into the valley below. It was gorgeous.I mean GORGEOUS. There was this big boulder type thing that we all clambered up and sat on for a while. On the way down the sun started to set and it got super cold. Aaron and Shayna had brought headlamps, though so we could see. That was a very interesting experience, though, navigating crossing creeks and ice sheets in the dark. SO MUCH FUN.

All the food places on campus had closed by the time we got back, so Aaron and I got some food elsewhere. it was delicious. I was in need of really strong-ass coffee for the all nighter I pulled, so we went back to his apartment for a few minutes while he brewed me some of his ridiculous coffee. A large thermos of coffee is was sitting by me and I had hope that once it truly kicked in I would have been writing like a madman. Actually, once I figured out what the fuck I'm writing about, I would be writing like a madman. Anyway, Aaron drove me back to my dorm which was super nice of him. I technically could have walked but he was like "Haven't you had enough hills for one day?" Teehee. Yeah.

The paper was godawful. I was up most of the night, got 2 hours of sleep, got into arguments with 3 friends, and another one went to the hospital. Gawd that was fun. Then Pax came into history with her face covered in blood and a potentially broken nose. We don't know. It's kind of distressing.

PICTURES:

I'm a rock gnome according to Shayna. XD

It was super awesome how there was still ice on some parts of the trail!

That rock could spoon you. It was really comfy. And I'm cute, dammit. Tee hee

Yeah. Let us hope that tomorrow is better. I think I am going to sleep soon.

And so...

Instead of writing that paper, I sit here doing nothing. In my defense, though, I didn't get home until about 5:30 this morning. I managed to read the first hundred or so pages of the "Analects" by 7:30, at which point I passed out until about 11:50. I cleaned and sorted laundry until 1, got some lunch with Emily, and finished reading the Analects. Now I have to go back through the Bhagavad Gita to find stuff for my paper there.

As for last night, all I'm going to say is I had a very good night. Jennifer didn't call, though, which made me slightly sad. I'm going to try to climb at some point today. Just for a little bit.

If you were wondering about the title of this blog, it came from a delightful Lord of the Rings parody that was floating around the internet. Bagenders. It was perhaps one of the cleverest and most in depth humor pieces I've ever read for LotR. There were jokes you could only understand if you had read The Silmarillion. That's what I'm talking about.

There was a surface level of humor as well, of course, which is where the whole "sideboard" concept comes from. The idea is that Frodo was left mentally unstable by his ordeal with the Ring and whenever he was reminded of that time in his life, he would make a dash and hide in the sideboard (British term for a cabinet which usually holds the good China or silverware or something). I think it's quite applicable to yours truly.

Last night I went to a job interview for which I was lamentably unprepared. Of course I can't blame myself since I only heard about the interview at about 2 in the afternoon and decided to attend as a spur of the moment decision. The interview was for a position as costumer at Kings Dominion over the summer. That's a major opportunity I just can't pass up - industry experience, new contacts, etc. So I barged in (looking fabulous) and bullshitted my way through the pre-interview quiz on costume techniques/wigs/fabrics. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Kathleen in the costume shop for teaching me what I know thus far, and I'd like to thank Jennifer for wearing a wig at Otakon so I had a very basic knowledge of wigs. I feel like I did pretty well on the interview itself, they seemed very open and friendly. However, I'm not terrifically optimistic since there are only 8 spots open or something like that. It all really depends on how many other applicants they get, I suppose.

Steve Barton's voice is rather delicious. Only as Graf von Krolock, though, I wasn't a fan of his when he was Raoul. Yes.

I am going to dinner at The Little Grill tonight. With someone. I'm not sure how to take this, so I've been a total girl and stressed about what I'm wearing and if it looks like I'm trying or something. It's really rather irritating. I think I'll go read some Cunfucius to calm down. That and I have to for that dratted history paper. Oy.

Sie ist zum Leben erwacht! Die Ewigheit beginnt heut nacht.
That's something like "She has awakened to life! Eternity begins tonight" ICH LIEBE DEUTSCH. Hur hur hur.

Well isn't this nifty?

I used to have a livejournal. I think I'll still post there but I'm going to see about this whole "blog" thing.

So to introduce myself to my already massive (and galvanizing) readership - I enjoy the word galvanizing. It sounds dirty when used in conjunction with massive. I also find myself terribly witty and amusing. Ultimately coming across as horribly pretentious and maybe a bit pompous. But that's all part of my charm...? I'm a fan of pie, muffins, and everything terrible for you. However I was called a twig tonight and was quite happy about that.

Body issues, much? I hate taking shit seriously. And I curse like a sailor.

That's basically it. Sleep is wonderful. I'll do it when I'm dead.