^-^

So I missed a call from Aaron today but he left a message for me. Basic gist of message:
give some support (on the paper)
"thinking about you all day today, hoping things are going well"
seemed like you were withdrawn/down the other night- that kind of got to me.
keep your chin up
Powershift plans
call me if you want
All I have to say is - Best. Voicemail. Ever. Especially because he never calls people.

I had a very very long chat with Scott tonight. All I have to say is I am the best friend ever. And so modest too.

Now to finish this here paper. *skips off to do it*

The virgin soul thet lived in me is raped by insecurity

So much has happened since the last time I posted. I tried to post on a regular basis, but every time I would start one I would lose interest. It's sad.

I learned much about a friend. Children, don't burn yourself with lye. It's not a pleasant experience. It's not, however, as painful as it appears in Fight Club, as the lye burns the nerve endings off your skin. Still. Don't do it.

I wish I wasn't so plagued by insecurity. Allow me to quote a song that fits my mindframe right now.
It's getting hard to breathe.
Darkness in my head frightens me.
There's a little devil in my mouth
Writing ugly words for you to shout.
The virgin soul thet lived in me
Is raped by insecurity

I need you to sing
Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find

It's getting too crowded here
All alone and playing with my fear
I don't want this anymore
I've tied myself down to the floor
I need you to sing.
Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find

Sing for me
Sing for me my love, sing.

Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find.
That's by Tarja Turunen on her CD My Winter Storm. I'm a big fan, I need to get it back from Charlotte.

Anyway, Reach Out Climb was today. I enjoyed myself, but at the same time I felt very out of place. I felt very out of the loop and slightly ostracized. It was not a happy feeling. However, I enjoyed being awed and humbled by some of the awesome climbers I saw. Jesus I have a long way to go.

I have gotten 8 hours of sleep over the past 2 days. 3 hours on Friday and 5 hours this morning. I was at Aaron's, but nothing happened. I'm frightened about what might be going on. I fear an end to this. I don't know anymore. He burned me an Ani DiFranco CD though, which is spiffy. But I'm exhausted. I hate being insecure and jealous. I need sleep. Auuugh.

On the plus side I made new friends yesterday. They are the sort of people I had hoped to meet in college. People like me! People like Meri and Veet and all of those kids who taught me what college would be like. Except my own experience would be quite different. Maybe more to come later, going to get food.

View from first outlook thing.

I love hiking. For serious. I love walking. It was so fucking difficult in some places, but it was so worth it.

In case you missed the memo, I went hiking yesterday with Shayna, Aaron, and Shayna's friend Mel. We went to this place called Fridley's Gap for a 5 mile hike... the first mile and a half was ridiculous. I'm talking seriously steep shit. I thought my thighs might die, but it was so much fun. There were some great tales from back in the day when Aaron and Shayna were doing local theater and various narcotics. As well as in depth discussions of the deeper meanings behind Mystery Science Theater 3000. We took Zoe with us, and she was a spazz and had way too much energy. At the top of the mountain, there was this awesome overlook into the valley below. It was gorgeous.I mean GORGEOUS. There was this big boulder type thing that we all clambered up and sat on for a while. On the way down the sun started to set and it got super cold. Aaron and Shayna had brought headlamps, though so we could see. That was a very interesting experience, though, navigating crossing creeks and ice sheets in the dark. SO MUCH FUN.

All the food places on campus had closed by the time we got back, so Aaron and I got some food elsewhere. it was delicious. I was in need of really strong-ass coffee for the all nighter I pulled, so we went back to his apartment for a few minutes while he brewed me some of his ridiculous coffee. A large thermos of coffee is was sitting by me and I had hope that once it truly kicked in I would have been writing like a madman. Actually, once I figured out what the fuck I'm writing about, I would be writing like a madman. Anyway, Aaron drove me back to my dorm which was super nice of him. I technically could have walked but he was like "Haven't you had enough hills for one day?" Teehee. Yeah.

The paper was godawful. I was up most of the night, got 2 hours of sleep, got into arguments with 3 friends, and another one went to the hospital. Gawd that was fun. Then Pax came into history with her face covered in blood and a potentially broken nose. We don't know. It's kind of distressing.

PICTURES:

I'm a rock gnome according to Shayna. XD

It was super awesome how there was still ice on some parts of the trail!

That rock could spoon you. It was really comfy. And I'm cute, dammit. Tee hee

Yeah. Let us hope that tomorrow is better. I think I am going to sleep soon.

And so...

Instead of writing that paper, I sit here doing nothing. In my defense, though, I didn't get home until about 5:30 this morning. I managed to read the first hundred or so pages of the "Analects" by 7:30, at which point I passed out until about 11:50. I cleaned and sorted laundry until 1, got some lunch with Emily, and finished reading the Analects. Now I have to go back through the Bhagavad Gita to find stuff for my paper there.

As for last night, all I'm going to say is I had a very good night. Jennifer didn't call, though, which made me slightly sad. I'm going to try to climb at some point today. Just for a little bit.

If you were wondering about the title of this blog, it came from a delightful Lord of the Rings parody that was floating around the internet. Bagenders. It was perhaps one of the cleverest and most in depth humor pieces I've ever read for LotR. There were jokes you could only understand if you had read The Silmarillion. That's what I'm talking about.

There was a surface level of humor as well, of course, which is where the whole "sideboard" concept comes from. The idea is that Frodo was left mentally unstable by his ordeal with the Ring and whenever he was reminded of that time in his life, he would make a dash and hide in the sideboard (British term for a cabinet which usually holds the good China or silverware or something). I think it's quite applicable to yours truly.

Last night I went to a job interview for which I was lamentably unprepared. Of course I can't blame myself since I only heard about the interview at about 2 in the afternoon and decided to attend as a spur of the moment decision. The interview was for a position as costumer at Kings Dominion over the summer. That's a major opportunity I just can't pass up - industry experience, new contacts, etc. So I barged in (looking fabulous) and bullshitted my way through the pre-interview quiz on costume techniques/wigs/fabrics. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Kathleen in the costume shop for teaching me what I know thus far, and I'd like to thank Jennifer for wearing a wig at Otakon so I had a very basic knowledge of wigs. I feel like I did pretty well on the interview itself, they seemed very open and friendly. However, I'm not terrifically optimistic since there are only 8 spots open or something like that. It all really depends on how many other applicants they get, I suppose.

Steve Barton's voice is rather delicious. Only as Graf von Krolock, though, I wasn't a fan of his when he was Raoul. Yes.

I am going to dinner at The Little Grill tonight. With someone. I'm not sure how to take this, so I've been a total girl and stressed about what I'm wearing and if it looks like I'm trying or something. It's really rather irritating. I think I'll go read some Cunfucius to calm down. That and I have to for that dratted history paper. Oy.

Sie ist zum Leben erwacht! Die Ewigheit beginnt heut nacht.
That's something like "She has awakened to life! Eternity begins tonight" ICH LIEBE DEUTSCH. Hur hur hur.

Well isn't this nifty?

I used to have a livejournal. I think I'll still post there but I'm going to see about this whole "blog" thing.

So to introduce myself to my already massive (and galvanizing) readership - I enjoy the word galvanizing. It sounds dirty when used in conjunction with massive. I also find myself terribly witty and amusing. Ultimately coming across as horribly pretentious and maybe a bit pompous. But that's all part of my charm...? I'm a fan of pie, muffins, and everything terrible for you. However I was called a twig tonight and was quite happy about that.

Body issues, much? I hate taking shit seriously. And I curse like a sailor.

That's basically it. Sleep is wonderful. I'll do it when I'm dead.