The virgin soul thet lived in me is raped by insecurity

So much has happened since the last time I posted. I tried to post on a regular basis, but every time I would start one I would lose interest. It's sad.

I learned much about a friend. Children, don't burn yourself with lye. It's not a pleasant experience. It's not, however, as painful as it appears in Fight Club, as the lye burns the nerve endings off your skin. Still. Don't do it.

I wish I wasn't so plagued by insecurity. Allow me to quote a song that fits my mindframe right now.
It's getting hard to breathe.
Darkness in my head frightens me.
There's a little devil in my mouth
Writing ugly words for you to shout.
The virgin soul thet lived in me
Is raped by insecurity

I need you to sing
Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find

It's getting too crowded here
All alone and playing with my fear
I don't want this anymore
I've tied myself down to the floor
I need you to sing.
Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find

Sing for me
Sing for me my love, sing.

Sing for me my love
Sing the right from wrong
Here inside my mind
Truth is hard to find.
That's by Tarja Turunen on her CD My Winter Storm. I'm a big fan, I need to get it back from Charlotte.

Anyway, Reach Out Climb was today. I enjoyed myself, but at the same time I felt very out of place. I felt very out of the loop and slightly ostracized. It was not a happy feeling. However, I enjoyed being awed and humbled by some of the awesome climbers I saw. Jesus I have a long way to go.

I have gotten 8 hours of sleep over the past 2 days. 3 hours on Friday and 5 hours this morning. I was at Aaron's, but nothing happened. I'm frightened about what might be going on. I fear an end to this. I don't know anymore. He burned me an Ani DiFranco CD though, which is spiffy. But I'm exhausted. I hate being insecure and jealous. I need sleep. Auuugh.

On the plus side I made new friends yesterday. They are the sort of people I had hoped to meet in college. People like me! People like Meri and Veet and all of those kids who taught me what college would be like. Except my own experience would be quite different. Maybe more to come later, going to get food.